HOW IT WAS FOR ME

JOHN MCINTOSH






For me there were never any mystical revelations, no fireworks, AHA’s or miraculous satori’s … just a seamless garment where the complicated patterns of dreaming slipped, almost invisibly into a transparent essence of nothing-ness, and any vestige of a ‘me’ dissolved. All attachments to the garment itself fell away and the imprisoning blindfold that had wrapped around my inner vision for eons, slowly peeled away. This occurred ‘after’ I made the ‘essential’ NO MATTER WHAT choice to be Free.


For decades I studied ‘everything’ spiritually oriented while following nothing specific, never joining groups, attending retreats or having masters or gurus. In the beginning there was an unquenchable thirst for this new fantastic knowledge, but over the decades none of it led anywhere in particular, nor did it divert my attention, in any serious manner away from the high life of wealth and privilege I was enjoying. And yet, there was an ‘incessant tug’ at my heart that never ceased for a moment and eventually exposed the subtle spiritual ‘arrogance’ I had unknowingly blended with the ‘better than you’ belief I had for most of humanity.


This spiritual ‘thorn in the side’ finally led to 15 years of being humbled in a ‘very uncomfortable and relentless way’ [after I surrendered ‘totally’ to Truth]. It was a ‘fire’ that burned everything that defined the false self. In the process … all learning, all beliefs and all formulas were consumed. It was a slow, intense blaze [which I did not run from] of ‘who I was NOT’, roasting the imitator, leaving only the ‘empty nothing-ness’ of Conscious Awareness … that we ALL ‘are’.


No bells and whistles for me … just the Silence of the Living Truth remains … no higher or lower, no better or lessor … just ONE.


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