Only the false self believes in ‘score keeping’. It weighs what it believes has value and can deliver some kind of ‘pay-off’ that is worth the effort. This ‘bean-counting’ is applied to its entire life. “Has my life so far and with all I have done, all the hard work, all the suffering and sacrifices … been worth it?” This kind of questioning illustrates how important all its accomplishments, accolades and awards, recognition and contributions to a so called ‘better life and world’ are to it. In the moment ‘worthiness’ takes the number one position to it since ‘unworthiness’ is at the core of its illusory existence.
As it nears the end of its body-mind experience it will reminisce endlessly about good and bad times telling itself and anyone who will listen to its tedious stories of glories and disappointments, living most of its remaining days in the past it believes was real.